A Monstrous Waste of Time

If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.

Sometimes I forget I even did stuff, like this fake “instruction manual” for a fake game I created as an Easter Egg for a Halloween event on my browser game several years ago…

http://www.hyperwolf.com/game/play1.html

Horror is not a man or woman with a knife.

CreepyPasta characters don’t just arrive from a vacuum. Here’s a photograph of the first group of youngsters to inhabit “Gertrude Glum’s Home for Creepy Kids Nobody Likes”. (She’s standing at the back.)

Left to right:

1.) The Unseeable, a young girl with a face so intesely ugly it drives others to suicide. If she sees herself in a reflective surface, she goes into a self-mutilating frenzy. Obsessively talks about minature horses.

2.) Mr. Judgemental, who quietly stares into our soul, seeing all the wrongs you’ve done. Sometimes offers “an honest day’s work for one genuine silver dollar”. Do not take this offer.

3.) Tricky Tulip, a prankster whose “jokes” often involve body horror. Frequently asks if you’re “gonna cry” in a mocking tone.

4.) The Maché Twins (next to and behind Tulip), suffering from a rare skin disease, they affix random scraps of paper to their pus-slick bodies. They have their own language only they understand, and get around by skipping while holding hands. They sometimes get stuck together.

5.) Shadora (hard to see face behind children and in front of woman), the shy young girl who never seems to be noticed until photographs are developled or the scratches stop being numb.

6.) Dum-Dum, the Ogrish cannibal who is easily fooled.

7.) Peepsy, who seems to find her way into the most unlikely places and learns to most unfortunate secrets. Can’t wait to get her hands on things she shouldn’t touch, and refuses to let go no matter what.

8.) Clatterclump (straight behind Peepsy), noisy and obnoxious, likes to bang things together at all hours of the night and pile furniture to the ceiling. Can usually be heard laughing dimly to himself.

9.) Bolbrudge Tumbletaint, an Eastern-European acrobat and contortionist that springs forth from small spaces, shouting “Hooplah!”

10.) The Astounding One-Eye (behind Bolbrudge), merely a full-body satchel with one hole cut out to see through. Don’t look in at his eye, or you’ll take his place! Gets around by crawling like a caterpillar.

11.) Little Old Mildread, whose aged and weatherd voice match her crusted-over crone face… but not the spry and child-like body careening around the darkness. Will offer or demand “sweeties” depending on whether she intends to attract or pursue you.

CreepyPasta characters don’t just arrive from a vacuum. Here’s a photograph of the first group of youngsters to inhabit “Gertrude Glum’s Home for Creepy Kids Nobody Likes”. (She’s standing at the back.)

Left to right:

1.) The Unseeable, a young girl with a face so intesely ugly it drives others to suicide. If she sees herself in a reflective surface, she goes into a self-mutilating frenzy. Obsessively talks about minature horses.

2.) Mr. Judgemental, who quietly stares into our soul, seeing all the wrongs you’ve done. Sometimes offers “an honest day’s work for one genuine silver dollar”. Do not take this offer.

3.) Tricky Tulip, a prankster whose “jokes” often involve body horror. Frequently asks if you’re “gonna cry” in a mocking tone.

4.) The Maché Twins (next to and behind Tulip), suffering from a rare skin disease, they affix random scraps of paper to their pus-slick bodies. They have their own language only they understand, and get around by skipping while holding hands. They sometimes get stuck together.

5.) Shadora (hard to see face behind children and in front of woman), the shy young girl who never seems to be noticed until photographs are developled or the scratches stop being numb.

6.) Dum-Dum, the Ogrish cannibal who is easily fooled.

7.) Peepsy, who seems to find her way into the most unlikely places and learns to most unfortunate secrets. Can’t wait to get her hands on things she shouldn’t touch, and refuses to let go no matter what.

8.) Clatterclump (straight behind Peepsy), noisy and obnoxious, likes to bang things together at all hours of the night and pile furniture to the ceiling. Can usually be heard laughing dimly to himself.

9.) Bolbrudge Tumbletaint, an Eastern-European acrobat and contortionist that springs forth from small spaces, shouting “Hooplah!”

10.) The Astounding One-Eye (behind Bolbrudge), merely a full-body satchel with one hole cut out to see through. Don’t look in at his eye, or you’ll take his place! Gets around by crawling like a caterpillar.

11.) Little Old Mildread, whose aged and weatherd voice match her crusted-over crone face… but not the spry and child-like body careening around the darkness. Will offer or demand “sweeties” depending on whether she intends to attract or pursue you.

bogleech:

Fuckin Finn perfect girl tries to drop right into his lap and he breaks her heart like dating a fuckin bee somehow isn’t good enough for him what an asshole

You realize the entire story was a flip of the “Friend Zoned Nice Guy”, right? XD

(Source: thespoonmissioner)