What’s your name, little girl?
Oh, you say you’re Jeff the Killer?
I’m a legend by definition,
and you’re CreepyPasta filler.
If you go out the woods today,
you’re gonna disappear.
You’re a clueless emo cutter,
I’m the faceless fiend of fear!
Better put down that knife, son,
trade that shit in for a pen.
Write yourself a better story,
or you’ll just get burned again.
Go to sleep, Anonymous,
because you’re living in a dream.
I’ll slice your pale ass like tofu,
You have no mouth but you must scream.
I’ll drop you like I drop beats,
and your pallid pate will be parting.
You’re just a stiff in a black suit,
and your funeral is starting.
So scary, with your static,
whacking off out in the woods.
Collect this note, you freak:
Kids Trick ‘R Treat in masks ‘n hoods.
You’re a real joker, Heath Ledger,
Give me your best and I’ll destroy it.
I’d violate you with my tentacles,
but you’d probably just enjoy it.
Are you really standing up to me?
I’d waste you on my worst day.
I’ve been smoking fools for decades,
you were beat down at a birthday.
It’s a good thing you can open wide,
You’re about to get a jaw-full.
I wear polyester and I don’t bathe,
so prepare for something awful.
Jeff the Killer:
Ha ha! Stop it, Slender,
you’re embarrassing yourself.
The reason you love hollow trees
is you’re hung like a Keebler Elf.
My teen libido’s off the charts,
you can ask that groupie, Jane.
Slash your jugular, hold it open,
that’s how Jeffy makes it rain.
You keep getting caught on camera,
Gramps I’m too quick for you to see.
Give me a blade and a target,
and I swipe as fast as MCP.
Holy shit, are you still here?
Your bed time was at eight.
Go home to your teddy,
or you’ll meet a terrible fate.
You’re a Mary Sue with bad skin,
and a cliché, thoughtless theme.
Say “I CAN HAZ THE D”, bitch,
because you’re a fucking image Meme.
I know children can be sensitive,
so I’m sorry. Did that hurt?
You’re a worm, nothing more,
I’ll stop your face into the dirt.
Jeff the Killer:
Funny you should mention faces,
I noticed you don’t have one.
It’s like I’m talking to a testicle
that’s never seen the Sun.
Sure you’re tall, and you’re thin,
and you’re white as a daisy.
So was Micheal Jackson, though,
and you’re both fucking crazy.
Where are all those kids
you abducted off the street?
Play time’s over, kiddie snatcher,
I’m Chris Hansen, take a seat.
Who won? Who’s next? You decide!