A Monstrous Waste of Time

If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake.


I put this art of dr. phage in my redbubble store here and it suggested I make a Duvet but the art isn’t big enough and they don’t let you do a repeating pattern so I just made him even tinier and put him off to the side

Don’t you want a completely blank overpriced cover for your bed with dr. phage an inch tall just kind of lurking somewhere on it?

Dr. Phage! (Actual Size.)

Epic Rap Battles of Horror: SCP-173 vs. Negative Mickey


Welcome to the Facility,
maybe you’ve heard of me?

I’d like to play with you,
my name’s one seven three.

Funny thing about this game,
it seems I always win.

Take a look at my record,
it’ll make your head spin.

Here are the rules, fool,
you hide and I seek.

I’ll run your ass down, clown,
your future is bleak.

Negative Mickey:

Huh huh! Oh, hi there!
I think I’ve made a new friend!

Please join me in the basement
where the pain will never end.

Tell me, how’s a guy like you
who’s made of solid concrete,

Get around so gracefully,
as if you’re light on your feet?

I mean I’m not one to judge,
if you doubt that, I should say,

If your buddies want to visit,
you have your own special day.


Shut your cheesy mouth, mouse,
your tail better behave.

If Walt could see you now,
he’d goose-step in his grave.

Oh that’s right, I forgot,
he’s Frozen like a snowman.

You gonna cry, little bitch?
He’s gone, Let it Go, man!

You’re a sell-out, get the hell out,
before your spine gets compacted.

I’m gonna ram my [Date Expunged],
up your ratty [Redacted]!

Negative Mickey:

Well that’s not very nice,
I see you’re not fond of mice!

Then again, you’re more full of shit,
than sugar and spice.

I’m engaging in violence,
while you’re playing with scientists,

You’re a guest in a mad house,
while I’m serving a client list.

Yeah, I’m real scared,
A lawn gnome might be behind me.

It’s A Small World, motherfucker,
and I dare you to find me.


You think you’re as hard as me,
Well ain’t that adorable?

You hang out with panstless sailors,
my gang is vicious and horrible!

Just ask my weed dealer,
we call him Radical Larry.

His shits are darker than you,
and they’re ten times as scary.

You wanna go, vermin bitch?
Better practice what you preach.

I’m insane, can’t be contained,
Red Alert! Here’s the breach!

Negative Mickey:

You seem a bit confused,
this won’t turn out like you think.

You’re a staring contest champ,
but mascot heads never blink.

So you know an old man,
and he can walk through the walls.

I know a seven foot simpleton
who’s gonna shatter your balls.

You won’t move an inch,
you stone-headed ignoramus.

Then I’ll whistle for Pluto,
and have him chew on Uranus.

Who won? Who’s next? You decide!

(Source: slimebeast.com)

Anonymous asked: rap battles for SCP-173 Herobrine Ben Drowned and Funny Mouth I think it would be funny if you did yourself and MrCreepyPasta

Har. Maybe.

slendyanswers asked: Duuuuuude I want to rap that battle so much.

Thanks! I wrote it while I was lost in the woods for three days. Maybe.

Okay, so Tumblr won’t let me have a Submit box, apparently. It keeps ticking itself off…

Yes, I will honor requests for Horror/Pasta rap battle match-ups if there are any and I can think of anything for them. :)

Epic Rap Battles of Horror: Slenderman vs. Jeff the Killer


What’s your name, little girl?
Oh, you say you’re Jeff the Killer?

I’m a legend by definition,
and you’re CreepyPasta filler.

If you go out the woods today,
you’re gonna disappear.

You’re a clueless emo cutter,
I’m the faceless fiend of fear!

Better put down that knife, son,
trade that shit in for a pen.

Write yourself a better story,
or you’ll just get burned again.


Go to sleep, Anonymous,
because you’re living in a dream.

I’ll slice your pale ass like tofu,
You have no mouth but you must scream.

I’ll drop you like I drop beats,
and your pallid pate will be parting.

You’re just a stiff in a black suit,
and your funeral is starting.

So scary, with your static,
whacking off out in the woods.

Collect this note, you freak:
Kids Trick ‘R Treat in masks ‘n hoods.


You’re a real joker, Heath Ledger,
Give me your best and I’ll destroy it.

I’d violate you with my tentacles,
but you’d probably just enjoy it.

Are you really standing up to me?
I’d waste you on my worst day.

I’ve been smoking fools for decades,
you were beat down at a birthday.

It’s a good thing you can open wide,
You’re about to get a jaw-full.

I wear polyester and I don’t bathe,
so prepare for something awful.

Jeff the Killer:

Ha ha! Stop it, Slender,
you’re embarrassing yourself.

The reason you love hollow trees
is you’re hung like a Keebler Elf.

My teen libido’s off the charts,
you can ask that groupie, Jane.

Slash your jugular, hold it open,
that’s how Jeffy makes it rain.

You keep getting caught on camera,
Gramps I’m too quick for you to see.

Give me a blade and a target,
and I swipe as fast as MCP.


Holy shit, are you still here?
Your bed time was at eight.

Go home to your teddy,
or you’ll meet a terrible fate.

You’re a Mary Sue with bad skin,
and a cliché, thoughtless theme.

Say “I CAN HAZ THE D”, bitch,
because you’re a fucking image Meme.

I know children can be sensitive,
so I’m sorry. Did that hurt?

You’re a worm, nothing more,
I’ll stop your face into the dirt.

Jeff the Killer:

Funny you should mention faces,
I noticed you don’t have one.

It’s like I’m talking to a testicle
that’s never seen the Sun.

Sure you’re tall, and you’re thin,
and you’re white as a daisy.

So was Micheal Jackson, though,
and you’re both fucking crazy.

Where are all those kids
you abducted off the street?

Play time’s over, kiddie snatcher,
I’m Chris Hansen, take a seat.

Who won? Who’s next? You decide!

(Source: slimebeast.com)

soulselaphiel asked: As a long time fan (first time making any form of contact), I've read all of your stories at least twice. You're an awesome author. But I must say, having just read it, 123 Spooky Street is one of your best. Like, damn that's good.

Twice? Good gravy. :O Thanks!!

If I ever start a CreepyPasta blog, it will be titled “The Gauntlet of Depravity”.

geordynbofficial asked: I'm a huge fan of your work and i just want to say that the first story of yours I ever read was "abandoned by Disney" and it's actually what started my mild addiction to creepypasta and subsequent case of insomnia.

Happy to help! :D